A list of things I hope I will never do before I die.
- Become a lonely spinster
- Work in a factory. I honestly have no desire to pull an "I Love Lucy" or if you're a youngster, pull a "Drake and Josh"
- Eat a bug. Bugs are nasty. That's why I have cats. They eat the bugs that I refuse to. As I write this I realize that I may already be on the road to lonely spinsterdom.
- Get into a bare knuckle brawl with WWE superstar Hulk Hogan. Self Explanatory.
- Get shot. I'd really just rather not. Its a lot of recovery time and ain't nobody got time for that.
- Accidently time travel to Nazi Germany when all I wanted to do was be a flapper for a day. Tragedy.
- Accidently end up in Nebraska or Idaho
- Watch an episode of Supaidaman the Japanese spider man. It's like watching an alien movie from the 1960s. I literally saw one with a stack of toilet paper rolls acting as a satellite. Extra cringey.
- Be eaten by a vagina like that one guy in the show American Gods. Although, the converse would be fine.
- Get touched by a bunch of sweaty arms on a train. Not even attached to anyone. just…arm